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It is getting worse for me now, mentally, than better. It has been over a year since adulteries were exposed, and 5 months since divorce final. I am actually getting more depressed and I am losing the ability to care for my child's needs. I see nothing for my future, and am losing my sense of God. I have been walking in obedience but lately the pain and hopelessness is so unbearable that I am even considering hireing someone so that i might get relief from this painful loneliness, and pretend that someone wants me. It hurts SO bad when I pick up my child and the ex is dressed to flaunt, doused in perfume that lingers on my child's coat, like she is going to see a man as soon as she drops off our child. It HURTS. All week long. Please pray for me, for her too, because it's like my tongue is welded to the roof of my mouth. Can NOT pray any more. I miss her. It hurts so much!
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